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Jack Johnson's "Breakdown." Lung cancer. Salamander larvae in a vernal pool. Being jobless. Nightmares about witches. An unopened pack of bass strings. Weddings. Divorces. A dog sleeping on a bed in a room with open windows, a gentle breeze lifting the curtains. Andrew Wyeth paintings. Kale. Sweaty T-shirts stuffed under a car seat. The ugliness of the German language. Atomic bombs. Plain white panties. Ferris wheels. Charisma Carpenter. Signing bonuses. Upside-down crosses. People with buck teeth. Oregon. Rocky, sandy beaches. Phones that don't ring. Trees. "The Cannonball Run." Andy Dick. Melting snow. Charcoal. How to make charcoal. Three-hundred business cards I will never use again. Maps of places I would like to visit. Banjos. France. The color green. Chicago. The '80s. Run-on quotes. Rivers, lakes, streams and other bodies of water. Bayfield, Wisconsin. Werewolves. Brown eyes. Abraham Lincoln. Terrorism. Legwarmers. Calvados. The rabbit in my back yard. Being alone.
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Empty notebooks. Quiet. Jennifer Weiner's next book. Taking a seat in row 17 of a Southwest Airlines jet. Esquire magazine. The Replacements. Google. Burmese pythons. My iPod. Mythology. The Police (the band, not the men in blue). Scylla and Charybdis. Blue Man Group. Saturday morning cartoons. Pop-Tarts. Meat. Meatless hot dogs. Depressing Josh Ritter songs. Hot nights in May. Iron Maiden's "Number of the Beast." Arizona. Jail. Pentagrams. Elvis impersonators. Right-side-up crucifixes. Speeding tickets. Concert tickets. War. Peace. North Korea. Israel. Ivory Coast. Kansas. Alternative energy. "Rocky IV." Soap made from animal fat. Cracker Jack. People I hate. People who hate me. High-school wrestling. Teeth. Edward Hopper. Broken ankles. Mustard. Solitaire. Bad paint jobs. Tattoos I'll never have. Jokes. Throwing chairs through windows. Crying.
/Siberian tigers being reclassified as Amur tigers because there are so few of them left, all crammed into the Amur River basin. Mexican food. James Taylor songs that suck. Yellow trains. Text messages. Disappointment. Bloody noses. Guns. Knives. Spent bullet casings. Hope. More disappointment. Holidays. Long walks. Contemplative drives to the mountains. Slurpees. Salads. Utah. Snow. Sunrises. Stars. Blankets. Warmth. Dead fish. "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog." CCCP. Finger pointing. Sixteen dollars. Being homeless. Sitting on a bench, holding hands on a quiet Saturday afternoon. Snakes. Misunderstandings. Breakups. Flights of red wine. Slippery slopes. Cookies. Needles. Tears. Paying it forward. Blank checks. Health-care bills. Sleepless nights. McLean, Virginia. Falling down stairs. "Fringe." Walks by the lake. Bruises. Panic.
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Childhood homes. Bowling alleys. Neon. Niagara Falls. ("Niagara Falls!") Tongues fighting each other. Danzig versus Shakira. Standing in parking lots at 3 a.m. Standing in parking lots at 10 p.m. Standing in parking lots and sitting in cars. Lonely hotel rooms. "Tropic Thunder." Chinese beer. Comfortable beds. Squid. Jesus riding a hippo. Steam. Bottle openers. Broken wine bottles. Veins. Staple guns. Steel cages. "Seinfeld" reruns. Apartment hunting. Pubic hair. Reverting. Avoidance. Books about murder. Books about suicide. The Teletubbies dancing to "Spellbound" from Dimmu Borgir. Ninjas. The word "turbo." Being on stage. Fluffy gray cats. Stains. Condoms. Cable TV. Waking up tired. Drunk-driving fatalities in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Stones. Assignments. Snow Patrol. Therapy. Czech food. Dry feet. Red toenails. Coffee. Cinnamon. Fear. Avocados. Shrimp. Turbans. Shoveling snow. Reproduction. O'Hare versus Midway. Accents. Pez dispensers. Nipples. Climbing staircases. Missed opportunities. News reports. Resignations. Relief. Fleeting happiness. Seattle. Holes in the ground.
/Flesh-colored bras. Madison, Wisconsin. Sad songs. Ska. Late-night phone calls. Twelve dollars. Heath Ledger in "The Dark Knight." Obama versus McCain. Short stories from Joe Hill. Shampoo. Rust. Hot tea. Primates. Urges. Short stories about death. Suppression. Repression. Depression. Riding in taxis with Russians named Alex. The lyrics "Will you ever / No you may never / See me on the other side of this life." Black dresses. Bar bands. Smoky rooms. Vomiting. Pictures of small children. Nights that end too quickly. Bathroom breaks. Leaning. Waiting. Hoping. Ants. Area codes. Paintings in waiting rooms. Baseball games. Nice hotels. Awards. The Chicago Blackhawks. The solitary pain of January 1. Threats. Beards. Love. The future. Happy endings.
