Back from the Dead

Scenes from 2010, year to date: A high-school senior with a broken shoulder, her eyes puffy from crying. Sleepless nights. The Chicago River, dyed green. Tofu tacos. Procrastination. Contracts. Digital signatures. Reasonable health insurance. California. Rich woods. Smooooooth jazz. Too much wine, too many late nights, too many early mornings. The Tough Mudder. "Olive Kitteridge" by Elizabeth Strout. John Updike -- The Man, Part I. Philip Roth -- The Man, Part II. "Up in the Air." Winter slowly disappearing.

Stagnant pools. Flies with only one wing. Vegan glucosamine. Torn labrums. Oversized bird cages. New Hampshire. Early mornings at the synagogue. Rugby. Long nights at the gym. Ovechkin's hit on Campbell. An atrophied brain. Spring. Warm weather, soft breezes carrying the scent of flowers. Walks along Ashland. Recurring dreams.

Green grass. Horizons, home of Philly's best vegetarian grub. Homemade chianti. Indian food. Bar fights. W-a-i-t-i-n-g. Jury duty. Dogs with venom glands. A blonde named Colleen. A brunette named Amy. Yelling. Sulking. Dry tearducts. Turning into my father. Trying to laugh. Jarring nightmares about moving on. Red cars. Black roses. Hot sauce. Football-sized bean burritos. A cold night on the perimeter of a blanket. Ginger ale for an unsettled stomach. Dying young.

Fear of failure. Time passing. Time wasted watching TV. Time wasted wasting time. Time wasted waiting for things to change. Not wanting vs. not trying. Maps. Stuck, mudbound. Limbo. Generosity. Turning into a bug, Kafka-style. Becoming a new person, becoming someone else, becoming a question mark. "The Other" by Dave Guterson. Freezing. Black fingers. Walking through fire. Walking the earth alone.